A few things…
-I feel bad for abandoning my blog. It’s so easy for this thing to go by the wayside when life gets busy. Also, when life gets so mundane that you feel like you have nothing to write about…it’s kind of hard to write. So, there’s that. Sometimes, I google words like mundane just to make sure that I’m using them correctly. I thank God for the internet everyday.
-Life is moving quickly. Sometimes, it feels like December 16 (when I moved home) was like a few weeks ago. But, it’s May 17. And yeah. I do remember the exact day that I moved back home. It was a hard time. Seriously, though. May 17. We’re over halfway done with May. Then June, July, GRAD SCHOOL. OMG. HWJAKEJRKLWEAJGLSKD WHAT.
-Speaking of grad school, have I mentioned how freaking excited I am?!?!? I can’t wait to be in a place where I am constantly learning and growing and going outside my comfort zone and performing and teaching and doing what I love. I’ve missed that. With that being said, this time at home has been really good for me. I’ve been violently ejected from the weird kind of self-contained undergraduate music major bubble that I was living in - into the real world. Well, I can’t really call still living with my parents the “real world” but it’s a lot closer than I was before, I guess. I can’t say that I love it. But, I haven’t hated it either.
-My job is pretty cool. Obviously, not what I want to do for the rest of my life or anything, but I’ve been having a good time. The people I work with are cool and fun. It’s been interesting getting to know people who aren’t doing the exact same things with their lives that I am. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in obsessing about school and musical things and all of the people you know who are also obsessing about school and musical things, that you forget that there are other things and people out there. It’s been good for me to get back in touch with reality and spend some time just being a human being again. I know that might sound weird. But if you understand, then you really understand.
-Spending this time being a (kind of) normal human being again, has had its downfalls, however. I feel like I’ve kind of lost touch with music. I’ve still been practicing and listening and doing stuff like that…but I’ve realized how much harder it is to motivate yourself to do these things when you’re on your own. I haven’t had lessons or classes or anything since I’ve been home, and it’s just really hard to keep on trucking when you aren’t surrounded by it all anymore. I think in some ways, though, it’s helped me to rediscover the love that I have for music. Since I’m not surrounded by it as much as I was, I really do cherish the times when I’m practicing, listening, and teaching. I’ve definitely picked the right field. And that feels good. I’ve also realized how much of a comfort it is to me. Anytime I’m home and feeling crappy about one thing or another, it all goes away when I sing. It was hard for me to realize how much of a comfort music could be while I was in school, because it’s what I was constantly doing. So, I’ve really appreciated this new angle on things in life, and I’m excited to bring a slightly new outlook with me to grad school.
-I’m not sure why I’m writing this blog in a bullet point format, but I think I’m okay with it. I don’t know. It’s actually kind of weird.
-A few of my best friends from Springfield graduated from college today. I’m so incredibly happy for them and they all have ridiculously bright futures. Amber is going to MSM, Andy is going to Northwestern, and Ryan is going to North Texas. We’re all moving to different states and different parts of the country and it’s all just so exciting. They are all so brilliant in their own ways and I can’t wait to see where they will all be in even 5 years from now. Love you guys.
-I’m starting to look for apartments in Lawrence and I have NO IDEA what I’m doing. I mean…I’ve obviously lived in lots of different apartments and houses and stuff, but they were all in Springfield. I knew the city really well and I knew which places and areas were great and which places weren’t. I mean…that didn’t stop me from living in a slightly shady area in Springfield for a year and a half, but still. I knew what I was getting myself into. WAH! I think I’m stressing about this a little too much, but finding a place to live is kind of a big deal. I mean…it’s where you live. I just want to make a good decision and not regret the decision that I make. The thought of moving is scary and exciting and kind of awesome.
-Okay, I think it’s time to stop. I am going to be back. I’m going to write on here more. It’s going to happen. I think.