I just got back a couple of days ago from a trip to Europe with Chorale. It was such a memorable and unforgettable experience. We spent 6 days in Germany and 4 days in Paris, France, and I had some of the best experiences that I’ve had in my life so far in those 10 days. I’ll probably post some excerpts from my travel journal a little later on, but I really felt the need to write a little bit about Chorale. Our last concert on this tour was extremely hard for me. I wasn’t sure exactly how it would go. I knew I would be sad, yes, but I didn’t know how affected I would be. I was an emotional wreck. I cried on the bus on the way to the concert, out of nowhere at various points before the concert, while talking to the altos and thanking them for a great year, and during the actual concert, so much that I couldn’t even sing some of our songs. It took so long for me to comprehend how much this group really meant to me. I don’t think the fact that I won’t be returning next year has even hit me yet, but it has got me really thinking about the last four years, and why it is so hard for all of us who are leaving to say goodbye.
When I first started Chorale as a freshman four years ago, I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on me or how much I would learn from being in the group. For me, it was a huge honor to make this choir and to get to be a part of such a high level of music-making on a daily basis, but I didn’t really realize how important it was to me until I was at the very end. The past four years with this group have been wonderful, frustrating, amazing, and sometimes just annoying all at the same time. I think it’s this way for any group that you’ve been a part of for a long time. There are always going to be issues, but when it comes down to it, I can’t imagine the past four years without this group. Being in this group taught me how to be a leader, it taught me to be humble, to be flexible, patient, inspired, and understanding. It taught me the true meaning of working for something that’s bigger than just yourself. Having the opportunity to be able to work with Dr. Webb on a daily basis has been an amazing blessing in itself. He is a true artist, and an excellent person who cares passionately about his work and strives for the best day after day.
Although, these things sound amazing, I can’t say that it was always easy. There were times that I let stupid things that happened get the best of me, and times when I was so frustrated with myself that I just wanted to quit. The more I think about it now, those are the times that helped me the most. The times when I would get so mad at myself for being an awful sight reader actually made me a better sight reader (even though I still kind of suck!) because I learned how to learn from my mistakes and keep pushing forward. I guess you’re not really supposed to realize that while it’s happening, but it makes so much more sense now.
Probably the thing that I will miss the most (besides Dr. Webb) are the people. All of the people that I have gotten to know from being in this group are just so wonderful. My best friends in the entire world are (were) in this group. Chorale really is like a family. Getting to spend so much time with these people and getting to make music with my best friends is probably what I will miss the most. I’m not sure I will ever have an opportunity to be in a group like this again. I really just hope that the younger people in the choir will realize how precious the time in this group is and to not take it for granted. It truly is a blessing.
These are just some things that I had to get out of my brain and on to my blog. I’ve been thinking about it all so much since our last concert that I just HAD to write about it. Anyways, thanks, Chorale for being so awesome, and I am so proud to say that I have been a member of this group.
P.S. Sorry…we never realized. (I will never not hear this in my head when I say sorry for any reason.)